HIV tests are more positive than that guy
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
