Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
