Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
where am i from again
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
