Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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