New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
