we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
