just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
