She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
