oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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