Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
