remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Ladies don't puke and tell
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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