Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
