I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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