absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
