Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
