hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
