You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
