The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
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