I hate all girls vehemently.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
