Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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