As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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