Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
