Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
