some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Drunk is not a location!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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