Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
