Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Did I show you my penis last night?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
