Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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