My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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