Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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