How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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