my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize