the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
