I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
