She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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