i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
