so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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