i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
