We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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