I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
