so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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