i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
