I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
