I swear she didn't look like that last week.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
