then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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