What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
