Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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