Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just had sex on a roof
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
