well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
