Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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