dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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