New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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