I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
