About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
