Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
