he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
All the doctor said was why
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
