My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
