So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
