I feel great
I just peed on a car
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
