At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
