I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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