omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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